Gag Reel
by oany13
Summary: Let's pretend that Naruto is a show with real actors and like any  other show it has a gag reel. Some swearing, not much.


_**Okay, it might not be funny if you just read it but try to imagine the stuff I am writing like seeing a movie or possibly a gag reel since that's hat this is supposed to be:) Great! Now that we got that part straight we can go on. I hope you like it and you have a great laugh. Enjoy! And don't forget to imagine everything, you'll enjoy it better *wink***_

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><p><em>Gag Reel!<em>

"Hell yeah!" *punch in the head* "Oh yeah! I was supposed to say 'Believe it!'. Sorry! My bad! Let's roll again!"

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><p>"I won't go back on my promise...was that the line? Doesn't matter! Here we go again." *Making a serious face* "I won't go...did someone farted? Oh come on guys! Someone light a match!"<p>

"Don't! It might explode!" *Sakura's holding her nose* "Kiba don't blame it on the dog this time, okay?" *Camera turns to Kiba who is grinning and giving a thumbs up*

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><p>"I don't care who I have to fight! If he rips my arms out, I'll-" *Sai's laughing* "Dude, stop laughing! I'm trying to be serious!"<p>

"Sorry, man! Sakura's making faces!" *camera turns to Sakura who's smiling innocently*

"Okay, let's try again! Ready! Action!"

"I don't care who I have to fight! If he rips my arms out, I'll kick him to death! If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death! If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death! If he gouges out my eyes-I'd be one weird looking son of a bitch! What kind of sadistic bastard wrote this script?" *laughing with Sai*

"The sadistic bastard who hired you!" *came the voice from beyond*

"Such a well written script! So artistic! I guess it's true what they say about artists, they suffer for their art!" *that was Naruto*

"Yeah, and it's true what they say about geniuses, they really are crazy!" *Sakura mumbles*

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><p>"Hey, you stupid fox! You're in <em>my<em> body!-"

"Kinky!" *Sakura yelled and Naruto snorts*

"Thank you Sakura! Now I have to do it all over again...thinking about what you said..."

"Okay, cut! Sakura go stand in a corner! Here we go again! Ready! Action! We're rolling people, stop laughing!"

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><p>"My name is Sasuke Uchiha! I hate a lot of things and-I love long walks on the beach and getting caught in the rain!" *At which Sakura starts singing*<p>

"_If you like Pinna Collada!-_"

"Cut! Again! Action!"

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha! I hate a lot of things and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and kill a certain someone-"

"You're one nasty piece of work, aren't you!"

"A sadistic bastard, really!"

"yeah, just like the writer!"

"Cut! Again! This time Sasuke stop smirking and Naruto pull your pants back up! Nobody wants to see your Naruto underwear."

"Are you sure? They're limited edition!" *eyebrows raising up and down*

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><p>"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." *Sakura laughing her heart out*<p>

"I think she's drunk." says Naruto and Sakura just keeps laughing.

"Settle down! Let's try again! Rolling!"

"A cute girl-" *Laughing*

"Oh great! Laughing is contagious! Sakura stop it!"

"Sorry guys! But Akamaru is in heat and Rock Lee is standing in his way!"

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><p>"In the ninja world, those who brake the rules are scum-"<p>

"You said 'scum'" Naruto's trying not to laugh. Kakashi just sighs.

"What is he, 5?"

"Never mind. Let's try again! Rolling!"

"In the ninja world, those who brake the rules are scum-" *snorting, snorting* "-that's true-" *throwing glares at Naruto* "-but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum." Naruto is full on laughing now. "Oh, come on! It's not like I said 'do do'"

"You said 'do do'" *rolling on the floor*

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><p>"On that day you taught me that solitude is painful! I understand that so well right now. I have family, and I have friends-Oh come on! Naruto stop relieving yourself! Gee!"<p>

"Okay people! let's try again!"

"Sorry, I can't! Send Naruto somewhere else he's not even in this scene!"

"Naruto, you heard them, now go! Okay! People we're rolling, let's try again!"

"On that day you taught me that solitude is painful! I understand that so well right now. I have family-are you laughing?" *She's amused*

"No." *He's really not*

"Then who's laughing?" *Catching a glimpse of blond hair in a corner.* "Naruto don't light that match! Naruto Sto-" *BOOM!*

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><p>"Shannar-*cough* *cough* Sorry, let's do it again!"<p>

"Sharon!" *realizing* "That's not it, is it? Let's try again!"

"Shannaro! I did it! I did it!" *realizing* "Oh man! Is there any way you can erase that?" *shaking heads* "Here we go again*

"Believe it!"

"That's my line!" Naruto is yelling from behind the cameras.

"What? No! Yours is 'Shannaro'"

"No that's yours. You got them mixed up."

"I did?" Looking at Naruto. "I did?" looking at the director who is nodding. "Fine! Take freaking countless times! I'm loosing my voice people, so let's get it right!"

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><p>"There probably issssn't any meaning in life. Perhapsss you can find ssssomething interesssting to do while you are alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you."<p>

"_Awkward..._" Everyone's laughing now.

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><p>"All I've been doing is watching you two from behind... now, get a good look at my back!"<p>

Naruto is grinning while raising his eyebrows up and down.

"Nice ass Sakura!" Sasuke adds.

"Oh, my God! Not my lower back you idiots! Stop staring at my butt!"

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><p>"The weaker you are, the louder you bark." Tenten put a hand on her hip.<p>

"Woof! Woof!" That wasn't Akamaru.

"Cut! Stop fooling around or we won't be going home tonight! We're rolling people!"

"*cough*obssesivecompulsive*cough*"

"I heard that, Neji!"

"You were meant to."

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><p>"BLOOOOOOOOOOD! MY BLOOOOOOOOOOD!" That's Gaara everyone. And behind the camera Sakura is laughing her ass off.<p>

"Sorry! Keep filming I'll stop soon."

"What's so funny?"

"He turned red! Oh God! I'm peeing my pants! I'm peeing-oh too late!" Still laughing.

"Cut! Let's try again!"

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><p>"There's no meaning to a flower unless it-" *sneeze* "Ew, Sakura! You spat on me!"<p>

"Sorry! I'm allergic to flowers."

"Like allergic-allergic?"

"What other kind there is?"

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><p>"Billboard brown...that's not the line! Billboarlecios! Blah blah blah! I can't say it! Sorry! Too many 'B's in it."<p>

"Billboard...brow?" *staring* "Good Lord! Who hired me?"

"Billboard brow! Ha! I did it! I said it!" *realizing* "I just ruined the shot, didn't I? Of course! Okay! We're rolling people!"

"That's my line!"

"Fine! Do you want mine?"

"Rolling!"

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><p>"You two don't know me at all, do you? Should've done your homework. Jiraiya the Toad Sage falls victim to no woman's charm! Rare beauties drop for me like blossoms in a storm! It isn't in my nature to be duped by the wiles of women. When you've reached the stature I have, the ladies kneel and worship at your awesomeness!"<p>

"And do you have those hallucinations often?"

"Cut! What the hell?"

"Naruto! Have you seen Akamaru?" *still rolling people*

"What the hell? Cut! I said cut! Push that fucking button befor I push it for you!"

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><p>"Hidden Leaf Ancient Taijutsu Supreme Technique: 1000 Years of Death-"<p>

"Otherwise known as 'shoving his fingers up your ass'" Sakura appears out of nowhere.

"What? You said he won't do it!" Naruto looks at the director.

"Don't worry, kid! I want to."

"Well, that's not my problem!"

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><p>"Akamaru, what's wrong boy? Have you forgotten my scent? We've always been together haven't we? We grew up together. Akamaru please, somewhere in there, there has to be a part of you that remembers. Show me that you remember. AKAMARU! Forgive me. Can you? I know that I've brought you nothing but pain and suffering. I broke my word. I swore I'd always protect you. Akamaru I'm sorry. Sorry I wasn't a better master. I'm here. Here for you. Forever."<p>

"Dude! I have some lines too."

"Actually, you don't" That was the director.

"Who wrote this script? No, seriously! Why stop? Let's all say our lines one by one until everyone's done then you can all cut them and put them together in order-sorry! I drank last night..."

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><p>"Sasuke, I always knew you were alone. In the beginning I was glad because I thought you were like me - I wanted to talk to you! But you... didn't speak. You always had everyone watching you. You could do everything and we were too different. So I decided that you would become my rival. I didn't want to lose because I was called a loser all the time. Even when we became Team 7, I still thought this way. I always tried to lie but... but the truth is... I always wanted to be like you. I aspired to be like you. Because of that... I was glad that you wanted to fight me."<p>

*Blank* "So you have a crush on me."

"That's not the line." *sweatdroping*

"Oh, we were filming? I thought you just felt like talking."

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><p>"Do you know, Naruto... that if both you and your opponent are first-class ninja, you can read each other's minds when your fists meet? There is no need for words. I know you aren't naive, Naruto, so you can read the true mind. Can you read my mind?"<p>

"Have you been hearing those voices for a long time, Sasuke?"

"Oh, come on! I nailed it and you ruined it!"

"Sorry, I just had to!"

"Obviously..."

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><p>"Sasuke, I love you-" *laughing* "Sorry, everyone's too serious, I couldn't help myself."<p>

"I love you too, Sakura."

"Well, then the show's over."

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><p>"Gaara...this is your big sister asking you to stop. Please?"<p>

"Don't touch me...I'm ticklish."

* * *

><p>Shikamaaru just hit Kin with his signature jutsu.<p>

"So we mirror each other's movements, so what? A cute trick but what do you gain by it?"

"Man, you're annoying. Shut up and watch!"

Shikamaaru takes out a shuriken and Kin does the same being under his jutsu.

"You must be insane! If you throw that shuriken at me, you'll just be attacking yourself!"

"Makes it kind of interesting, doesn't it?"

"You wouldn't! You couldn't!"

"Yeah? Like a game of chicken! Let's see who ducks first!"

"You're crazy!"

They both throw the shuriken and they both duck only Kin supposedly hits her head against the wall behind her.

"Son of a bitch! Ouch! That wall is not supposed to be that close!"

"Did you hit your head?"

"Hell yeah I did! Oh fuck this hurts!"

"Someone get me a doctor, we need to get that checked!"

"Damn! There's blood! I'm seeing spots! I think I'm gonna-" She faints.

"That means I won, right?"

* * *

><p>"It was sheer luck. I should've been killed."<p>

"Too precious for this world!" Tears strolling down while hugging Gaara.

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><p>Not rolling yet.<p>

"Hey, Sakura. I heard Kakashi got some last night."

"Ew, Naruto! I don't want to know! It's bad enough he started reading those books for real!"

"Okay guys! We're rolling. Action!"

"Hey! My bad, my bad! Actually, on my way here, I saw an old lady who needed help-"

"Oh my God! Disgusting! Get that image out of my head!"

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><p>"What the hell are you, a kappa? get off your ass and stop drinking all the water!"<p>

"Karin, we're not filming yet."

"I'm not acting!"

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><p>"Oh my god, Naruto! How many times have I told you to stop farting on set! There are bathrooms! Just stop!"<p>

"Alright people, settle down! Cameras! We're rolling!"

"My nose has become stronger than any ninja hound's"

"God forbid you smell Naruto's farts!"

"Cut! What the hell?"

"Don't ask me, ask Naruto! He's the one who's going Hiroshima on our noses since lunch!"

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><p>"Hey, Ino! Do you have some Ibuprofen? It's my time of the month and this cramps are killing me."<p>

"Sakura?" Sakura stops, looks around and realizes Ino is not alone. "We are filming here."

"Well it's a good thing I didn't say I need tampons." *realizing* "I'm gonna go kill myself now."

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><p>"I'll get you! Even if you blow off my arms and legs, if you take in your poison and it paralyzes me, I'll get you, I swear it! No matter how much you resist, no matter what you do! I'll beat you half to death, and make you talk about Orochimaru!"<p>

"Cut! let's try again! This time put some feeling into it!"

"Are you kidding me? That was awesome! You try and say that while you look your best dying!"

"Sakura, you're fake blood is licking all over the place." In came Naruto eating his cereals.

"Oh, thank you Naruto."

* * *

><p>"You're such an idiot!"<p>

"Thank you, Sakura! I love you too!"

"Cut! Where's the punch? You're supposed to punch him across the village. Let's try again!"

"It's good to know our show is realistic..."

* * *

><p>"Yes, it's been a while… since I've used myself-God, I sound like I miss playing with myself, is there anyway you can change that line?" Sasori looks at the director.<p>

"We'll see what we can do. Cut!" Sakura's laughing in a corner.

"I wasn't even thinking of that, but now? I can imagine you as that type. Too many lonely nights, huh?"

"You would know."

"Not better than you!"

"Meow! cat fight!" Sasuke appears eating an apple.

"I'm a guy!" Sasuke snorts.

"Dude, don't even go there..."

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><p>"Revenge means everything to me. As long as I can have my revenge, I could care less what happens to me, or the whole world for that matter. For both Orochimaru and me, right now, killing Itachi would be impossible. But if I am able to accomplish my goals, through nothing more than offering Orochimaru this body of mine-Oh, come on! This sounds like I'm sleeping with the guy! Change the lines, or Orochimaru might get ideas!"<p>

* * *

><p>"I said this is the end, you murderous traitor. But before I kill you, I have one last question." Itachi keeps quiet so he can go on.<p>

"How do you get blood stains out of that Akatsuki robe?"

"Oh, c'mon dude! I was nailing that facial!"

"Couldn't help myself!"

* * *

><p>"Where did I go? I went to talk to Naruto. He's been so down, you know? It's a pain in the arse, but I just found myself headed over there. He has something no-one else does...he's going to be a very important ninja. When I'm with Naruto...he makes me want to walk with him."<p>

Sakura's crying. "That always made me cry."

"Are you serious?"

"What do you want? I told you, it's my time of the month!"

"TMI!"

* * *

><p>"Naruto... Thank you."<p>

"Gee, don't say it like we just had amazing sex."

"Oh my God! Sombody teaser him! Or better yet castrate him!"

"And put a cork up his butt cause what that guy eats comes out in the form of gas!"

* * *

><p>"The only one who can understand a Jinchuuriki... Is another Jinchuuriki."<p>

"No shit, Sherlock!"

"Cut! Naruto you have time out and 1000$ of your pay check. I'll show you disrespecting the script! Don't you even dare try to ruin my lines again!"

"Sadistic bastard!"

"2000"

* * *

><p>"Naruto, remember we are a team. Sai...he doesn't know you that much yet. Please forgive him."<p>

"S-Sakura..."

"Glad someone has some sense"

"That's all right. I'm not offended at all."

"That's a relief." With that Sakura punch Sai right in the face and she doesn't fake it. "I don't care one bit..if you forgive me."

"You bitch! Why did you hit me!"

"That's for sleeping with me and not calling, you man-whore."

"TMI!...Again!"

"People, stop bringing your personal issues to work!"

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><p><em><strong>Okay! I've got nothing more, but if I come up with anything I'll write it. I know these might not be that funny but I hope they are entertaining.<strong>_


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